This past week was once again not a very productive week for me working through KA. I only spent two or three hours on KA which is pathetic and abysmal. I made notes on the series of videos I worked on last week, which was a proof for the divergence theorem, but that’s all I did. As you’ll see, writing out the notes ended up being a pretty lengthy process, and it definitely helped me get a better grasp on the notation used with vector calculus, so I’ve at least got that going for me which is nice. Overall though, I’m disappointed with myself, but I’ve also reached a point where I don’t really give a fuck… 

I’m sick right now. I don’t want to get into the details of what’s going on, but I’ve been getting rocked for the past seven months and am at a point where I’m completely depleted. I have no reason to believe that things are going to get better either. I’ve lost hope and don’t care much about anything these days. Whatever’s happening to me is making me not only feel like shit but (what I actually find to be worse) is also making me look like shit. I fucking hate my body and what’s happening to me. After seven months of trying multiple things to find a solution to heal myself and making zero progress, I’ve reached a point where I don’t want to play this game anymore, so to speak. I want it to stop and don’t really care how.

Anyways…

Here’s the question I worked through:

And that’s it. I don’t have the energy, motivation or desire to talk about this question. Hopefully my notes make it somewhat clear as to what’s going on. I’m also hoping next week I’ll be able to make some decent progress on the unit test, although I’m doubtful I’ll actually get through it. Which is how I feel about a lot of things these days.